How to Deal with Stress  3/20/18

   Not all stress is bad, actually some stress is necessary to help you be excited and active in the world.  The stress a performer feels before a show can help someone do their best in training and performing. You will always have some stress if you’re alive. However too much chronic stress that never goes away and interferes with daily quality living, needs to be investigated.  Sometimes what bothers us wouldn’t bother someone else, so it mainly comes from our internal reaction to something external.  Sometimes it’s our faulty or distorted thinking that causes it.  However until we are able to change our perspective and grow beyond old habits of thinking and reacting, there are things we can do to make life a little easier.

    I encourage you to keep a daily journal, writing is a more sophisticated and in depth thinking process.  It gets abstract thoughts and feelings out of your head and down to a more concrete level you can look at what happening and deal with it.  In your journaling, you will look at what’s bothering you and come up with a plan using the four “A’s” below.

Four “A’s” of Stress Management (Avoid, Alter, Adapt and Accept)

1.        AVOID

Learn to say “NO”.  Learn where your limits are.  Taking on too much is a surefire way to create stress that will backfire.

Avoid or limit people who stress you out.  Choose your friends and people you interact with wisely. 

Take control of your environment.  If the news and social media are too negative and stress you out, don’t go there.  If traffic bothers you, plan to go at an off time of day.  If your phone rings too much, get a voice recorder and only check it once in a while when it’s convenient for you.

Pare down your to-do list.  We always think we can get more things done than is realistic.

2.        ALTER

Express your feelings, don’t bottle them up.  Journaling is good for this as well as talking to someone (friend, clergy, therapist, etc).  If someone is causing the problem, address it immediately but respectfully.  Let your emotions cool before you talk, but don’t keep it in and let resentment build.

Be ready to compromise.  Give a little and try to meet someone in the middle. 

Create a daily BALANCED SCHEDULE with time for yourself in it.

3.       ADAPT

Learn to look at some stress in a more positive light.  Driving in heavy traffic can be time to listen to podcasts or new songs or a favorite radio station.  A heavier workload mean could mean you are very qualified at what you do and people come to you.

Look at the big picture.  Is this event or situation going to be remembered or even important in a month or a year?  Is it worth getting this upset?

Adjust your standards.  PERFECTIONISM is a major cause of stress.  Set reasonable standards and learn to be okay with good enough.  All humans make mistakes.  If you don’t make any mistakes you aren’t doing anything.

Practice daily gratitude.  Learn to appreciate your positive qualities, good people in your life, riches you have and your own gifts.

4.       ACCEPT

Don’t try to control events or people you cannot change.  However, you can control your reaction to it.

Look at the positive side of the issue.  You are learning life’s lessons here.  If you have made poor choices, learn from your mistakes and move on.

Learn to FORGIVE.  Forgiveness is not to justify what happened but more so that you can move on.  People are unaware and imperfect.  Don’t take it sooo personal.

Share your feelings, journal, talk to someone.  Most of all, come up with a plan to change the things you can.

OTHER STRESS MANAGEMENT TOOLS

Rhythmic Exercise -  Dance, running, walking, etc., the body releases feel good hormones.  MOTION helps EMOTION.

Carve out “ME” time every day.  Time for exercise, a walk in nature, time to do something you enjoy, wind down time.

Eat HEALTHY – A good diet helps you have more energy to deal with things.

Get enough quality SLEEP.  Try gentle stretching before going to bed.  Read something relaxing or meditate.

Cut down on the CAFFEINE, SUGAR and CARBS.  Also cigarettes and alcohol all of these interfere with good sleep and your body’s energy levels.

MEDITATE – Do a ten to fifteen minute easy relaxing meditation each day.  This allows the thoughts to come and go, like clouds across a sky.  It allows the brain to process and digest and is very calming to the body and blood pressure.  Over time meditation can increase awareness, how you think and react and is great for dealing with stress, anxiety and depression.

Writing in Your Daily Journal

1.       Write down the incident or problem that’s stressing you out.  Read through the (4) A’s and write down some solutions that might help remedy or resolve the issue. 

a.       If this is something you can change, write down some solutions to avoid or alter the external stressor?

 

b.      If this is something you cannot change, write down some solutions for you to adapt or accept?

2.       Revisit the problem and solutions.  After journaling, maybe take a walk in nature and think about the situation and solutions, or talk to a friend or therapist, think over your solutions.  Maybe the incident will resolve itself, maybe you’ll decide you didn’t handle it well or it wasn’t that big a deal.  The key here is to calm down the emotions and look at the problem again from a different perspective.

3.       Implement your solutions and see what happens.  If it’s not effective you may need to think of other solutions.